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I thought this post was supposed to be about lies, I don't think I have read one yet!

C. John Clay
Dads Dogboy

Dads dogboy wrote:I thought this post was supposed to be about lies, I don't think I have read one yet!

C. John Clay
Dads Dogboy

In that case I have a 100% broke cat dog that I will sale ya that jumps and catches 100% of the cats I put him on, he dose this everywhere I've hunted him, from the east coast to the west coast, had him clear down in the southern part of Florida and results were the same. Only asking $50,000.00 plus shipping .( he dose shat in the box though)

Budd Denny wrote:

Dads dogboy wrote:I thought this post was supposed to be about lies, I don't think I have read one yet!

C. John Clay
Dads Dogboy

In that case I have a 100% broke cat dog that I will sale ya that jumps and catches 100% of the cats I put him on, he dose this everywhere I've hunted him, from the east coast to the west coast, had him clear down in the southern part of Florida and results were the same. Only asking $50,000.00 plus shipping .( he dose shat in the box though)

BUD WHY SELL SO CHEAP I SOLD A THREE LEGGED 8 WEEK OLD PUP OUT OF MY STOCK THE MOTHER CHEWED THE LEG OF IT CAUSE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A CAT FOR TWICE THAT MUCH THE GUY THAT GOT IT SAID IT COULD STILL OUT RUN EVERY DOG IN HIS STATE AND THREE OTHERS MAYBE MORE HE AIN'T TRIED THE OTHERS OH YEAH I WANT TO ORDER A 1000 OF YOUR BOOKS AND GIVE THEM TO ALL MY FRIENDS FOR CHRISTMAS LOL

I'll put ya down for a 1000 .

I Am pretty shocked at you guys making fun of liars. My grampa had to be a liar for awhile just before he died. He hated it. He was in the Loggers Home. It was right next to the Veterans Home but he did not qualify for that. They had originally called it a nursing home, but all those Northern Minnesotan loggers and miners would have no part of it. Not even 2% had ever been a nurse. They changed it to The Miners Home, but young runaway kids kept showing up, so it eventually became the Loggers Home. It has three wings according to mobility. There is the walkers’ wing for those that could get around on their own. There is the rollers wing for those in wheel chairs. And there is the liars’ wing for those that pretty much have to just lie down all the time. Grampa went in as a walker and ended up as a liar.

I had a chance to spend a couple hours with grampa just before he died and he explained a lot of family secrets to me. It cleared up a lot of things for me, and I am so glad for the time with him. He explained to me why he had changed our last name to Noman. It was actually for a legal loophole he found. That was how we came to own the 5 mile wide border line between Canada and the U. S. He was a lawyer and always looking for legal loopholes to make a little money on. To make a long story short, the area of the boundary line was very narrow. It could be mowed by a single pass of the lawn mower. But on the International Geological Survey it was titled “NoMans’ land”. This was legally binding according to the Geneva Convention of 1948. Grampa changed our last name to Noman and then sued both governments for ownership of that strip and won the suit. Then He took the International Survey map of the world. He measured the line according to the scale of miles on the world map. It actually was five miles thick. This was legally binding according to those maps signed at the Geneva Convention. I visited the Geneva site there close to Sidney, Austria.

Well, we were having some trouble with wolves on our land there, and really didn’t know how to handle it. Then a horrible thing happened, but it turned into a blessing. One of my Lily hounds got killed by a wolf. But luckily, the two remaining hounds each killed one of those devils. They brought them home, and low and behold; they both were collared. One had a Canadian government collar, the other a US government collar. Well grampa sued both governments for a wolf proof fence. Now the fence is nice, but once in awhile a wolf will figure out how to get in. So grampa sued again and the governments are bound to keeping the area mowed and my hunting road must be dragged every evening by 18:00 hours. Then, when ever I get time away from my bobcat control job, I can check that road for wolf tracks. Bobcats are so thick in there I cant drive more than ¼ mile without crossing a fresh track in there. But it makes sense, because all the towns are releasing their nuisance bobcats in the pen there. With grampas permission of course.

The bobcats are real bad right now. They have gotten so over populated in the country that the young ones are being forced to take up in the sewer systems under the cities. Now there are females having litters in there. It is super tough on the children this time of year. They can play out in the daylight, but come dusk, they gotta get inside. If they don’t, they are gonna get jumped by one of those mamma kitties. They are getting all scratched up and stuff. Heck of it is the kids cant see them this time of year on account of they are lactating and all. They just see a shimmering wave, kinda like a heat wave off the hot blacktop in summer. Only it is in the shape of a bobcat. But by the time they see it, it is too late. She is on em like a cat on children. This is unfortunate, but it has been awesome for my bobcat control business.

I have developed a formula I call “eLactation eLimination.” If I can just get it onto a lactating female, it dries her up for at least three hours. I can catch them in a few minutes as soon as the aLactation aLarm goes off and I am on the scene like a fireman. I am loading paint balls with eLactation eLimination and selling it to all the families along with paint ball guns and supplies to any that don’t have them. Now any kids that want to go out in the evening take these with them. Kids waiting for busses early in the morning are learning to take them also. The kids just love me now because paint ball guns were never allowed on the bus or in school until now. All this help from the kids is good for me cause I cant stand the smell when I hit em with one of those balls! They release all that scent they been holding in while they are lactating. There is a booming sound as soon as that formula hits them and they suddenly go dry. It the combination of all that scent being suddenly released and also the sound of their movements they had been holding in while they are lactating.

While grampa was dying and lieing in the liars’ wing he told me a few more things I had not understood. One of them was about my dogs. I have had those dogs since I was a little boy. He always called them the Lily dogs. I did not know that his last name was Lily before he changed it to Noman. He said he was glad to change his last name too because his first name was William. People kept calling him Billy Lily, and he hated it and beat everyone up and made em promise not to call him that any more. So from that day on he was Willy lily.

But he explained about the dogs that his great grampa Benjamin had them. Benjamin was a black man when he was younger before changed over to being white. The kids cut his name from Benjamin down to Jamin. He was Jamin Lily for the longest time until he just got sick of it. He too started beating folks up for it. About the time he switched over from being black, he got people to call him Ben. As he got older he did tricks like jumping out of a barrel flat footed. No one could figure out how he could do that. But they did not know. But grampa said he had a litter of pups just before he died and that my three dogs were from that litter. It was hard for me to understand that until he explained that this line of dogs are extremely young when they are born. There used to be a lot of the good young blood back in the day. But even then, great great grampa Ben’s dogs were younger than most. Now they are about the only dogs left as young as that.

I asked grampa how come every year the dogs are seven? He said he was going to tell me a long kept secret and that I was only to tell it to good friends. Well, I figure some of us have been together on here about five years now. I am going to trust you with it. He said when them dogs turn seven you take them papers and you burn those papers up. Them dogs without papers will never get any older than seven.

I am gonna be raising a litter out of the Lily dogs. They wont be cheap, but they are guaranteed to be young.

David, you are so full of shit. I told you I was onto you boy. Dont go tryin to pull the reverse psychocosmetology shit on us son. We got your number.

YOU WIN, HANDS DOWN!!!

Texans ain't crap!! LOL

By the time I got done reading that David I believed every word of it, you got me convinced that you are so------------- .

Damn, that one might make history!!!

It took me a while to figure out Dan's stripper comment but I think I will have real trouble with "Psychocosmetolgy"

David as for as that story, I beleive every word of it!! It will go down in Hound History first eddition!!! Psychocosmetology???

I believe every word of that story and I will take 2 of those pups a male and a female and the check is already in the mail.
And Budd I will take a thousand copies of your book to and I also mailed that check out today.You guys let me know If you don't get those checks in a couple days.

I guess psychocosmetology is the study of crazy assed women that cut hair and paint fingernails. LOL!

Big N' Blue, I aint even started yet partner. Now I say I say boy, pay attention son, pay attention, ya hear. Let me get fired up when I am on the and you will really be cornfused but the best part about is that I will be to the next morning when I read some of my work.

Mr. David,

Hats off to you! There is no way anyone can top that!

You should be nominated to the "LIARS Hall of Fame".

Thanks for all the Great family History, sharing it with us is so special!

C. John Clay
Dads Dogboy

I know why this thread is getting so long.
U guys can,t think of any thing good to say
about your cat dogs on the regular threads.

DAVID THAT WAS A AMAZING STORY YOU SHOULD BE A PROFESSIONAL WRITER THERE IS NO WAY THAT WILL BE TOPPED NO SINCE EVEN TRYING CLASSIC NICE JOB LARRY AKA (WILLIAM CLARK) LOL