I'm Moving To Mexico
Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:37 pm
MOVING TO MEXICO
Dear President Obama:
I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. Into Mexico,
and
we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration
quotas
and laws.
I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you
mind
telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need,
whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual)
teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and
history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at
their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and
lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to
government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I don't plan to
purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to
learn
local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from
their
president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at
least
one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put U S. Flag decals on
my
car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any
complaints
or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have
any
labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely
nice
and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we
might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll
receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a
new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social
Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for
all
his people who walk over to the U..S. From Mexico . I am sure that
President
Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind help. You're
the man!!!
Dear President Obama:
I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. Into Mexico,
and
we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration
quotas
and laws.
I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you
mind
telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need,
whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual)
teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and
history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at
their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and
lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to
government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I don't plan to
purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to
learn
local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from
their
president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at
least
one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my house top, put U S. Flag decals on
my
car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any
complaints
or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have
any
labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely
nice
and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we
might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll
receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a
new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social
Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for
all
his people who walk over to the U..S. From Mexico . I am sure that
President
Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind help. You're
the man!!!
