Divorce

[cox]

Alright this may sound like a weird topic but it's what I'm going through right now. Anybody else on here been divorced and the reason being you hunt too much and spend more time with the dogs than your wife. Anyhow my wife left and served me papers and to be honest it hurts alot. I'm not gonna give up hunting or my dogs I tried that about 5 years ago when we had problems and thought that would help but it just made me miserable cause I was trying to be something I'm not. Any how I have 2 boys 15 and 13 and they love the dogs and the outdoors in general and they are as hurt by this as I am. I guess I'm asking for any advise from anyone that's had a similar experience. I just kinda feel a little lost right now thanks for reading, Dan

[Dale T]

These things suck I went though this with my first wife, my second wife and I met at a field trial in 1989, I had hunted with her dad and her brother before we met, she gets it, I still have to balance hunting and her, she only hunts with me a couple of times a year but it's a balance, she is the current president of North Central California Houndsmen and has been to our state capital more than I have fighting for our hunting rights, hate to tell anybody to give up on something but try and find one that understands who and what we are.

[mefishme1234]

not married but had a woman leave me cause I came home with a redtick and a plott ..We didn't even live together...she doesn't like dogs and really hated my beagle pup.. she a cat person.. My dad told me that don't give up what you love cause that's who you are. I always make time for her too.. but I sit her with 3 hounds and a beagle who go nuts when I get home and enjoy my attention.. I am a bit lonely for the womans touch but it will come, she will come. DALE is right.

[EO caller]

IMO #1 thing you have to worry about cox, is those boys. Point blank and I might catch heat for saying this but you and your wives happiness has to take a back seat till those boys are up and out. I think its important to have a mom and a dad around providing a good home life. When my mom took off I was 16, and before that was brought up in a strict household. I had curfew and partying was a no no. After she left, my dad was hurting and hunting for the next one and I kinda got turned loose. Turned into a real drunken shithead till I woke up and quit when I was twenty four. Not saying that's what will happen but I've seen it happen a lot.

[cox]

Thanks for the replies and PMs guys EOcaller I agree with you 100% the boys are the most important in this and I'm focused on them my wife and I went to counceling 5 years ago I quit drinking ( which helped ) and we have sat down every week to see how our relationship is for the last 5 years which the councilor recommended I haven't heard of a problem for over 4 years then a month ago she said she's done and doesn't want to be married any more. I'd do whatever it takes to keep my family together however I can't do it alone yeah I still hunt but I'm home every night with the exceprion of bear season when the boys and I go north for a week and the occasional weekend. I feel like even if I devote 100% of my energy toward saving the marriage it will just fall apart again in a year or so. My boys are awesome they play sports love to hunt and fish and the dogs (we have 4) I feel like if I give up the dogs and the outdoors I'd be letting them down as well. I know there is not an easy solution here and no quick fix. No matter what happens my boys are gonna come first for me after 17 years of being marriage I wouldn't know where to start looking for another woman anyway even if I wanted to which I don't. Kinda rambling now anyhow thanks for the input and prayers it's appreciated I know this isn't a self help site but it has helped just asking for advice from like minded people. Thanks again, Dan

[Liz ODell]

Hard to make the call but wise to remember there are some people that will never be happy with you...people that would just find something else wrong that they hate about you once the dogs have become nothing more than a memory.
My advice is if you are married to one of those people - KEEP your dogs.

[EO caller]

Just keep a level head, which it sounds like you have. Be the bigger man and be the best father you can be (sounds like your doing fine in that department). Be tough and a good role model and you'll be fine and so will the boys.

[cox]

Thanks again guys. We did get some good news today for a change both my boys, me and my dad drew bear tags this year. The boys are pumped and so am I I'm really hoping to get my younger son, Jake a bear this year cause my older son, Hunter got one 2 years ago and this will be Jakes 1st. Regardless it will be a great time good to see some smiles around here for a change even if it's only for a bit.

[kordog]

look on the bright side now someone else will have to put up with her never being satisfied ,and you will have more time to do what you love with no critic.it would be foolish to stay together unhappy .people just grow apart and when its over its over wether you are together or not.marriage makes alot of people prisoners. you have to respect her for not staying and being unhappy. that doesnt mean its your fault . some more advice ... i wouldnt marry her sister ,but i might date her lol.