Obama's Speech (Translated Version)

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Good evening, America.

In the days before our Founding Fathers, early American patriots gathered acorns and harvested millions of kernels of corn.

This sort of "bulk collection" has a long history, and has become the American way.

Ask not, what reforms I bring to you, ask what metadata you can bring to me.

To ease your unnecessarily worried minds, your data will be stored, not by the government . . . but by a corporation of some sort to be determined in close consultation with . . . the agency that vacuumed your data in the first place.

The days of saying, "trust me," are long past.

These reforms will work . . . trust me.

I, for one, am not prepared to end the bulk collection of every single American's data, close down the NSA, and institute sharia law.

Let me be clear-- this is about finding the balance between liberty and security . . . and as long as it pleases the intelligence community, I will do everything in my power to make you feel warm, confident, and pleasantly-informed about that balance.

Now, remember, we're not reading your emails and text messages (usually) . . .

we're simply hacking Google servers, exploiting software flaws and tapping into the great digital pipeline.

A global pipeline that American innovation helped to innovate and prosper.

Democracy progress together change reform, believe.

I have welcomed this debate, and this discussion makes us stronger as a nation that looks forward . . . to imprisoning the person who began this conversation in the first place.

Thank you, God bless you . . and God bless this database.
Originally posted to Comics on Fri Jan 24, 2014 at 06:50 AM PST.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/01/2 ... ily+Kos%29

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