Hound hunting newsletter for university website

[beaglewalkerhunter4]

After a heated argument with a professor regarding hunting bear with hounds, I had an assignment in other class to write a newsletter where the best one will be chosen and put on the schools webpage. I decided that after listening to a professor jam his uneducated opinions down the throats of my ignorant classmates, I wanted to do my newsletter on hunting with hounds and get some good info out in hopes of it being chosen for the webpage so more people can be informed.
here is my first draft, if anyone has any insights or suggestions I would appreciate it. And also even pictures of maybe young kids with the hounds ect
might have to click the pictures to actually read it, start with the last image and work upwards

[beaglewalkerhunter4]

the last few sentences of the article

[david]

Hey great job! You put a lot of work into that.

God bless you in your efforts.

It is great as it is, but I will give a little feedback.

1) I would write it for people like you who might actually get recruited by your enthusiasm, and would not be defensive about it. Tell it like you just discovered the fountain of youth and are excited about finding others who will be excited about it too. If you just give your own "testimony" and how this experience has benefitted you personally, no one can say this is not true. You do a ton of that, and that's why I don't think you need to be defensive at all.

2) it might be unclear that you are talking about hunting bear without using hounds when you mention those who take females and cubs. Non hunters probably won't know what still hunting is.

3) I think each time you use "whom" you could just say "who" and "upon" could usually be "on". Just to keep it less like you are trying to be formal.

There are a couple typos. I don't know if you want that kind of feed back?

Great job. Awesome

[david]

Also I loved how you stressed the long time cultural aspect of this in the Appalachian mountains. That is another very positive and powerful point you have made.

[dhostetler]

Very good letter wish you the best