Do You Know Someone Suffering From Trump Unacceptance & Resistance Disorder (TURD)?

Know the signs, spot the symptoms, and save a life.

TURD is a pattern of pathologically dissociative and psychotic behavior, first observed in the late hours of November 8th 2016, and increasing in severity with ...

A gas station owner in a rural backwoods part of country was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10... If he guessed correctly ...

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned.... I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Reynolds?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her ...

The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship with her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply which was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius!

The query:

Dear Tech Support,

Last ...

Two crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how You can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it."

"Well," said the big Croc, "what have you been ...

The flood of Trump fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The Republican Presidential primary campaign is prompting an exodus among left leaning citizens who fear they'll ...

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a
confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but
the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles... "Ain't no use knockin, there's ...

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I ...

1966: Long hair
2016: Longing for hair

1966: KEG
2016: EKG

1966: Acid rock
2016: Acid reflux

1966: Moving to California because it's cool
2016: Moving to Arizona because it's warm

1966: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2016: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz ...

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is
assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons
and laws of the church, by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are
copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to question ...

Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint?
Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has
a time booked for surgery the following week.

The SECOND sees his family ...

A manager at Wal-Mart, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four
people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job ...

Posted it here..maybe more people will read it and avoid being victimized


NOT ALL THIEVES ARE STUPID


1. LONG-TERM PARKING

Some people left their car in the long-term parking at Windsor while away, and someone broke into the car. Using the information on the car's registration in the glove ...

1. President Donald Trump and Vice President Marco Rubio are sworn into office.

2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist healthcare farce known as Obamacare. The new Director of Health and Social Services ...

Note: pretty sure male reindeer don't shed till late Dec into Jan...but will let that slip by in the interest of fun...


According to the Alaskan Department of Fisheries and Game,

while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the ...